Advising an angry person to stop and count to ten is quite effective in the short term. Even if one counts to ten very quickly, by the time you are done counting the emotional energy has lost its energy, and one quite often is embarrassed at having forgotten the trigger leading to the outburst.
A better long term solution would be to use the ten count to analyze the trigger and strategize a more appropriate response.
In July, as thoughts turn to freedom and independence, it is instructive to consider what those terms mean both nationally and personally.
Around two hundred years ago the French political thinker and historian, Alexis de Tocqueville, expressed concern that the American experiment in democracy, if done poorly, could prove destructive to a sense of community. Distrust of government emerges as its actions are perceived to negatively affect individuals. And that point of view is supported every time a politician identifies a single person who serves as a case in point.
So, individuals feel put out and individuals serve as examples.
Quick quiz. Is a “siren” an attraction, or a warning? Since the word is in lower case, and you are likely interpreting it from a modern perspective, you would be correct in defining it as a sound of warning. But in Greek mythology, the Sirens performed beautiful music that attracted passing sailors to the destructive rocks that surrounded their remote island.
As insurance providers attempt to control healthcare costs, many are beginning to accept claims for ‘alternative’ modalities such as chiropractic, acupuncture and even massage therapy. There are limitations on the number of visits, and some providers ask for proof of efficacy for particular medical issues; but overall they are acknowledging that the alternatives are often as effective as needles and pills at a much more reasonable cost.
As a teach educator, Dr. Stork met a teacher some years ago who had replaced a long list of Don’t-oriented proscriptions with a single rule, “Be appropriate.” He began, as many well-meaning teachers do, with a short list of obvious Don’ts. But it turns out the most recalcitrant of his students were budding lawyers, confidently pointing out how their idiosyncratic missteps were not specifically addressed in the rules and therefore not subject to sanctions. Adding more, specific rules to the list created the unintended consequence of turning students’ attention to the search for loopholes. The list of Don’ts subsequently got longer and longer.
Dear Dr. Kweethai...
I am a single father with three young daughters. It makes me nervous to think it is up to me, their father and a male, to have “the talk” with them.
“Why take the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Dr. Kweethai Neill makes light of living together versus marriage. But her message is serious, “Too many people believe love does not last, but that is only because they do not understand what true love is.” That is the basis of Lessons in Love by Dr. Kweethai.
In case you have not noticed, when someone greets you with, “Hello. How are you doing?”, it is not an inquiry into the state of your health or well-being. And the polite response, “I’m fine,” is equally vague and noncommittal.